What it is & how it’s becoming my personal power’s best friend
I was once told that the Universe only puts lessons in front of us until we master them.
Based on some of my own life’s lessons I’d say there’s substantial evidence of lessons appearing and reappearing until I’ve done my part to master them. Especially when it comes to my own personal power and not giving it away so easily. (Side note: personal power for me is my sense of self.)
Take, for example, my habit of people pleasing.
The Big U gave me plenty of chances to learn how my people pleasing was nothing more than a futile exercise in trying to fit in where I didn’t belong. Once I realized that I didn’t have to jump through someone else’s hoops in order to be loved, the lesson disappeared and my personal power increased.
LATEST AND GREATEST LESSON
The Big U has placed another doozy in front of me. Radical Acceptance.
If you’re scratching your head wondering what the heck that is, you’re not alone. I did the same thing about a three or so months ago when it showed up in one of my morning readings.
While I don’t wish to bore you with the countless lessons that have smacked me in the face lately, suffice it to say, here’s what I’ve come to understand about radical acceptance…
…Radical acceptance is accepting reality for what it is. It’s not settling. It’s about responding to the things that I can’t change in a way that releases the stress, angst, anger, pain, etc.
For example, let’s say I’m standing in line to get tickets for a concert I really want to see. There’s only one line because the ticket office is short-staffed. Since the line is moving slower than maybe I’d like, I could do any of the following:
A) I could complain about the line and the fact that there’s only one person issuing tickets,
B) I could push and shove the people in front of me, OR
C) I could wait my turn and occupy my time by listening to some of my favorite music.
Options A) and B), while they may be tempting, they aren’t going to change the reality that there’s only one line and that there’s only one person issuing tickets. Option C isn’t going to change reality either but if I’m passing the time enjoying my favorite music there’s a good chance I’m not stressing out over something I can’t change.
Here’s where the rubber is meeting the road with this lesson on radical acceptance…
Every time I allow a situation that I can’t change (and that includes people) to piss me off or stress me out all I’m really doing is allowing it (or them) to take charge of my personal power.
Radical acceptance = holding on to my personal power in any given situation.
MASTERING THIS LESSON
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Since I don’t like my personal power to be diminished or messed with I’m determined to master this radical acceptance lesson and here’s how…
When I feel my hackles or my blood pressure rise I’m going to assess the situation. Is there anything that I can change?
If there’s something I can’t change, (i.e. traffic or another person’s behavior) I’ll consider my options and choose something that’s going to lower my blood pressure and help me to maintain my own personal power.
At the end of the day, I’ll remember that radical acceptance is my key to changing the things I can and choosing how I respond to things I can’t change.
My friends, how do/will you use radical acceptance to not only keep your cool, but maintain your own personal power?
Until next time, here’s to leveraging some radical acceptance. Sending you much love and light, as always…
Ways to speak up for what matters
I think it’s true what they say about getting older; the less shit you give about what comes out of your mouth. Don’t get me wrong… it’s not that I’ve stopped caring and it’s not that I’ve started saying offensive, hurtful things.
I haven’t turned into some madwoman with verbal diarrhea. I’ve just become more vocal when it comes to things that matter, for example, my own feelings and thoughts.
I’ve become more of an advocate for me. Halle-frickin-lujah!!!
Trust me when I tell you, it’s about time!
It’s been tiring. Not to mention, it gets heavy carrying around years and years of pent up feelings. What’s worse, it sucks to be a hypocrite by helping others to find their own voices when I haven’t really been using mine.
The simple truth is…
I was afraid I’d rock a boat, piss someone off, lose a friend, etc. by speaking up for myself. But by not speaking up what I’ve really been doing is hurting myself and treating myself as a proverbial doormat. So uncool!
“When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.” ― Laurie Halse Anderson
DESERVING TO BE HEARD
Here’s the thing, the more I speak up for myself the more liberated I feel. And here’s some more good news…the earth doesn’t stop rotating on its axis. Of course there’ve been times when others haven’t liked what I had to say, but that eventually passed. The bottomline; I've not lost anyone important to me because I spoke up.
My voice is important (as is yours!) and if I don’t use it I’m not only doing myself a disservice, but I’m doing others one too. People aren’t mind readers.
So here’s what I’ve been doing to go from voiceless to vocal…
Picking my hills carefully. There are just some hills that aren’t worth expending energy on. To make sure I’m expending energy on the right hill I ask myself, “Will telling it like it is help or change things?” If the answer is “no”, I redirect my energy and attention elsewhere.
Speaking my truth from my heart. My heart is an amazing guide and teacher. I’ve never regretted anything I’ve said that has come from my heart.
I’m responsible for the delivery, not the receiving. The only thing I’ve got control over is how I deliver my message. I don’t have control over how someone receives it. To the last point, if I’m coming from my heart (a good place) that's the best I can ever do.
Remembering to pause. There are times when I need to take a breath before responding. As a matter of fact, I wished I had remembered that the other day when my buttons got pushed. While my message was spot on, my delivery sucked. Had I paused, I know I would have delivered my message in a much calmer way.
It’s a process, but I’m committed to it and most importantly, I’m committed to hearing me so that others will too.
My friends, what do you do that gets you heard? I’d love to hear from you.
Until next time, sending you much love and light...
Ways to run out of excuses and start taking action
Excuses, we’ve all made them.
I’d be a liar if I said that I never made an excuse to try and get out of doing something. Oh, not to mention the endless excuses I’ve made for my food choices over the years or some of my less than desirable decisions, particularly when it came to relationships. And yes, I’ve even made excuses for a loved one's behavior.
Excuses are often fear-based barriers. They're used to defend or justify a behavior or even a non-action.
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.”
We use them to get out of something that we don’t want to do.
We use them to protect ourselves from potential embarrassment.
We hide behind them to avoid a potential failure.
They’re a frickin’ self-imposed boulder that sits smack in the middle of what we want, trying to squish the life out of it.
They’re a story telling tool that we engage when our belief in our own abilities and ourselves is waning.
They’re a best friend to our itty bitty sh*tty committee members (our internal naysayers).
And if we’re really being honest with ourselves, they’re just plain dishonest.
Worse yet, they’re a great way to diminish our own personal power.
Does any of this resonant?
Are you tired of excuses, yours or someone else’s?
If you answered “yes” then please keep reading.
WHAT TO DO WHEN WE MAKE EXCUSES
The key to creating any type of change in behavior is recognizing when we are participating in that behavior. This is often the hardest part, since the behavior may be a habit and something we do as an automatic default.
When it comes to excuses, it helps if we take inventory of the times when we’ve made an excuse. Looking for any patterns or commonalities. For example, maybe we make excuses when we are feeling overwhelmed. Maybe we make them when we are feeling criticized. Maybe we make them when are scared to step outside our comfort zone.
Regardless of when they appear, being able to identify the triggers and circumstances helps us to be more proactive going forward.
With awareness in hand, here are some things we can do to step away from the excuse and move more towards action.
Instead of “yes, but”...how about a “yes, and”...
Saying “yes, and” opens the channels of thought. It gives us a chance to look for the opportunities, as opposed to the barriers.
What’s at the source?
It helps if we pause and ask ourselves “What's causing this excuse?” It’s in the awareness that we then are able to create options.
Pro and con
Speaking of options, when it comes to taking actions that scare the crap out of us, before we engage that excuse, start making a pro vs. con list. With information in hand we can then make a decision as to what to do.
“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
I love asking my clients and myself this question when on the verge of an excuse. And I don’t just stop with “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” I continue asking…”And then what?” until all scenarios are present and accounted for.
Yep, you read right. We can use our excuses as an indicator that what we want to do/about to do is important.
Instead of making an excuse it helps if we are honest about why we don’t wish to do something, what we are feeling, or why we may be hesitant. There’s a lot of power in being honest.
DEALING WITH EXCUSE MAKERS
If you’re not someone who makes excuses, but you have people in your world that do, here are some tips for dealing.
Take deep breathes
Excuse makers can push some major buttons so taking a few deep breathes before responding to the excuse maker and their excuse helps avoid creating further issues.
Ask curiosity-based questions
Asking questions can help us and the other person get to the source of the excuse and find a way to constructively deal with it.
Share your concerns
In a constructive and caring way, share our concerns with the other person, letting them know that we are there to support them and not judge them.
It’s not us, it’s them
Remind ourselves that the person is not making an excuse because of who we are or something we did. They’re making the excuse based of their own “stuff.”
“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”
At the end of the day, we all deserve better than excuses. I’m going to be on the look out for my own excuses so I can step away from them and more towards action. How about you?
Until next time, I’m sending you much love and light…
How a differing opinion doesn't make one unintelligent
Disclaimer: This is neither a political rant nor an avenue to bash anyone of differing opinion.
Over the weekend a family member questioned my intelligence. Actually, it wasn’t just questioned, but rather insulted. To explain…
I made a choice to stand with many against hatred, violence, and in support of equality for all … that choice and my reasoning for doing so differed from this family member’s opinions. I’m proud of my decision, but because I did what I did (and my reasons), I was accused of not having all the facts and only getting my facts from the wrong sources.
HUGE FRICKING ASSUMPTION! HUGE!
Sadly, this family member has never asked me what I read, watch, or listen to. He’s never checked his own assumptions before launching into accusations of my lack of information or lack of intelligence.
As a life long learner and an avid reader of many news sources, books, articles, etc. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m a very intelligent woman capable of making informed decisions. Here’s the truth, I like to get as much information as I can about what happens in the world and not just from one source, but many. So if there is one thing that pushes a major button for me it is to insinuate that I’m not informed, and therefore not intelligent when it comes to certain matters.
Disagree with my viewpoint. That’s OK! But please, for the love of all creation, do not infer that I’m not intelligent because I have a differing viewpoint. And please do not make assumptions that I don’t do my due diligence, because I do.
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”
Having a difference of opinion does not make one wrong, ignorant, uninformed, or uneducated. It’s those differing opinions that help us to learn, to grow, to change, to see things from a different perspective especially when shared from a place of respect for another’s intelligence and point of view.
SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER
My friends, if your intelligence is questioned because you hold a differing thought or opinion I’d like to offer you a few things to consider…
At the end of the day, a difference of opinion can be a beautiful thing if it is delivered in a positive way. It only becomes ugly and unacceptable when it is used as a means to insult or belittle.
So to this family member I say, I love you. I admire that you’re passionate about your thoughts and opinions. I stand behind that passion. What I do not and will not stand behind is your using your thoughts and opinions as a means to insult my intelligence.
Just know that I’m always happy to listen to your point of view, provided that you share with the understanding that as an intelligent, capable woman, it is my right to respectfully disagree… for it is OK to disagree. In my disagreement I’m not saying that I’m right and you’re wrong. What I’m saying is that I just hold a differing opinion.
Until next week, here’s to standing firmly in our intelligence and exercising our rights to have a differing opinion. I send you much love and light, as always…
How to leverage the power to choose.
I have it. You have it. As does your neighbor, your best friend, your partner, your children. We all have it. It may not always feel that way, but we do.
We all have the power to choose.
The minute I realized that, (that I always have a choice in any given moment), a feeling of empowerment hit me. And then the real awareness set in; Choice = Personal Power. “YES! That’s it. That is how I hold on to my personal power in any given situation. I choose.” I was so excited by this new awareness I almost pounded on my chest like King Kong while screaming at the top of my lungs, “I am woman, hear me roar.”
Here’s the kicker, while I always have a choice I may forget to exercise my power to choose. Yes, I may forget because I’m far too caught up in something else, for example, a “woe is me” moment, stress, fear, etc.
It happens. And while it does, it’s important to remember that the power to choose is never too far away.
WHAT I GET TO CHOOSE
While I can’t always control what’s going on around me, like other people’s behavior, their responses, or the weather, I do have a choice in what I do. I do have a choice in what I say. I do have a choice in what I feel. I do have a choice in how I act.
As a matter of fact, I get to choose…
What I put in my body.
I get to choose if I want to eat vegetables or if I want to eat a chocolate chip cookie. My choice. And then it becomes my choice how I feel about what I ate, i.e. good or guilty
How I respond.
When something pisses me off, I get to choose how I respond. I get to choose to be calm in that moment or fly off the handle. My choice.
The people I surround myself with consistently.
Again my choice. I get to choose who I wish to hang out with. I’ve become very particular about who I surround myself with and not because I’m a social snob. My energy is easily impacted. I’m kind of like a sponge in that respect… so I’m very careful not to surround myself with people who are oozing negative energy.
What I think.
Oh yeah, I get to choose that too. When a negative thought pops into my head, (which happens regularly), I get to choose to invite it to stay awhile or dismiss it. If I decide to have coffee with that thought or give that thought voice, I know I’m choosing to do so.
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
What I feel.
You guessed it; I choose what I feel knowing that all my feelings are valid. That means that there are times when I choose to feel the crappy feelings to my core. As a recovering stuffer, I’ve come to understand that feeling things through is important in order to move forward.
What I do.
I definitely choose what I do, without a doubt. I choose my actions, (sometimes not all that carefully), but I do choose them. I choose my work in this world. I choose what I do at any given moment. Sometimes I choose to do nothing and that’s still a choice.
Where are you consistently in choice? This is where the awareness begins…knowing where you engage your power to choose and where you could be engaging it more.
THE BENEFITS OF CHOOSING
Here’s what the power to choose does. When we engage and leverage it, we…
Live life by our own design.
We make ourselves priorities and in turn so do others.
We have fewer messes to clean up.
We protect/restore our energy.
We don’t allow feelings to fester.
We make better decisions.
We learn from our mistakes.
But most importantly, we take back our own personal power from any given situation or person.
How many of those results are you currently experiencing? Want more?
HOW TO LEVERAGE CHOOSING
Ok, so you’re going to think I’m crazy nuts, which is cool…it’s your choice after all. ;) What I’m about to share with you is so simple it does sound crazy.
The way to leverage the power to choose in any given situation is to ask yourself this question (or a variation that fits.); “What do I choose?”
Yep, that’s it. When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, fearful, ticked off, small, powerless, stuck between decisions, etc. ask yourself that question. Then see what happens. See how you feel.
Are you game?
I do hope so, because for the next 21 days I invite you to consciously, deliberately, and intentionally engage and leverage your own power to choose. Of course it really is down to you and what you choose. ;)
Until next time, here’s to the power of choosing!! Sending you much love and light….
An invitation to seeing & owning your greatness
Many years ago I was asked the question, “How do you define greatness?”
I used to believe that in order to experience greatness you had to conquer something major, like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or having a message that reaches millions upon millions of people. While I don’t think my definition has changed much over the years, my perception of “major” in relation to greatness has.
To me greatness is…
When we are our most authentic selves.
When we are able to share from that scary, vulnerable place that connects us with another human being.
When we have the courage to follow our dreams.
When we discover our why…those things that make us tick, and then
when we use our why so that what we do has more impact and meaning.
When we own our greatness and truly step into it without hesitation.
Greatness is not always in what we do, but it is always in who we are.
And we spend a lot of time focusing on what keeps us from greatness rather then focusing on what already makes us great.
We don’t claim it. We don’t own it. We don’t live it nearly as much as we could. Instead we allow self-deprecating comments to taint our view. We allow other people’s opinions to overshadow our own. We let limiting beliefs, like the one that says acknowledging our greatness is bigheaded, to run roughshod.
CLAIM IT, OWN IT, LIVE IT
As I’m writing this, I’m reminded of Marianne Williamson’s quote…
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
YES! YES! YES!! A thousand times yes! That’s what I’m talking about.
My friends, this is your invitation… it is time to claim it, own it, and live it! We don’t have a moment to waste. The world needs us to step up and share our greatness.
If you’re wondering how or feeling scared as hell, trust me I get it and I’ve got you.
Here are a few tips that help. Feel free to pick and choose or to share some of your own.
Identify/Define it: This where the rubber meets the road when we are able to clearly identify or define greatness for ourselves. Knowing what it feels or looks like supports us in being great on our own terms, not someone else’s.
Capture it: Making note of the things we do each day fortifies that greatness. It cements it into our reality so we are truly living it every day. Grab a pen and a journal and capture all that greatness.
Share it: Share it with others by doing those things that make you feel great and model the crap out of that greatness. As Marianne said in her quote, “as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” Oh, and here’s some food for thought… it’s not our business what other people think of us when we are putting our greatness out there. We have no control over that any way.
Quiet it: Not the greatness, but the limiting beliefs and self-deprecating comments. Quiet those suckers in the very moment when they’re trying to steal your greatness and its thunder. Change the words being said. Express a little gratitude. Do something that switches off the negative message.
Lets cause a ripple effect of greatness. Starting TODAY! We got this!! Because here’s the real deal, when we do, we are not only serving as role models for others, we are taking charge of our own destiny. We are creating amazing experiences and opportunities. We are playing full out. We are truly living a life and doing work in this world that we love.
Are you going to accept the invitation?
Until next time, I’m not only sending you wishes of greatness, but much love and light…
If you dabble with, vibe on, or use Numerology you probably already knew that 2016 was a nine year (2+0+1+6 = 9). In Numerology the number 9 stands for completions, finishing what we start, and a few other cool things. Which makes a lot of sense since 2017 is, you guessed it, a one year (2+0+1+7 = 10 1+0 = 1). The number 1 stands for new beginnings, fresh starts, new energy, and change.
I’m not going to lie; I’m so over 2016 and ready for some new awesome beginnings and new energy. Having said that, I know that in order for my new beginnings to have a fair chance of making it, I have to make some space for them.
So during the month of December I spent time taking inventory of the key areas of my life.
What loose ends needed tying up?
What am/was I ready to let go of?
What, if anything, did I start that I needed to complete?
While there were no loose ends or projects left unfinished, there were a few things that I needed and wanted to let go of. Things that I didn’t want to take with me into this New Year of new beginnings.
So like Santa, I made my list and checked it twice. On that list were the following things that I’ve agreed to dump in the 2016 garbage bin:
Worry when it comes to money. I’ve danced with worry more than a few times during 2016. It was only when I sat out of the dance that all my financial needs were met. That got my attention and so I’ve made the commitment that when worry taps me on the shoulder for a dance, I’ll graciously decline. I’ll remind myself that worry does nothing except give me wrinkles and gray hair. I’ll also remind myself that it’s not nearly as strong as my belief that the Universe is always conspiring for me and not against me.
Judgment of myself and talking about others. Holy crap, as someone who prides herself on being a compassionate, loving person it’s embarrassing to admit that I judged myself rather harshly this past year and I spent some time talking about others… meaning I was judging them too. Not cool!! This behavior has been kicked to the curb. Judgment is my sign of insecurity and so if I feel that insecurity creep in, I’m going to check in and find out why. I’m also going to keep my mouth shut. Instead, I’m going to find something that lifts me up, energizes me, and makes me feel good. I’m going to focus on my strengths and what makes me, me…leaving behind the comparisons (a.k.a judgment).
Playing small. Want to talk about my modus operandi…this has been a big one for me, particularly when it comes to my work in the world. I’ve rested on my laurels by not tapping into my fullest potential. I’ve sat in the shadows and haven’t called too much attention to what I do. How frickin’ sad!!
Make no mistake I love what I do and I’m proud of my work in the world…so that playing small crap has to go. Buh-Bye. In the infamous words of Diana Ross, and I apologize in advance for the earworm…
“I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show”
Yep, the world is going to see more of me in 2017. More articles published on other sites and publications. More FB Live broadcasts. Volunteer work. The list continues so do stay tuned.
Motherhood guilt. I have spent the last four years, I’m not kidding, the last four years swimming in guilt until my fingers are pruney. I’ve felt guilty over my co-dependent, helicopter mom ways and then felt guilty for breaking those patterns so abruptly. Which in hindsight has been absolutely necessary in order to create healthier relationships.
My son is now 22 years old and doing his thing. And gratefully I’ve given up the helicopter and co-dependent gig, but not the guilt side effects.
So if that guilt appears I’m going to remind myself of something Brené Brown once said in a TED Talk, “Guilt: I'm sorry. I made a mistake.” All parents make mistakes when it comes to their children. And it would be a huge mistake to hold on to that guilt … I can’t change the past, I can only influence the present moment by forgiving myself.
Since I’m not a silly woman, I know that just saying “Adios” to those things doesn’t mean they’ll magically disappear. It’s going to take conscious action on my part (which I’ve already started).
In taking that conscious action, I’ve begun to create the space for some pretty cool new beginnings…like expanding my reach, creating a movement (more to come on that), and deepening my connection to myself, my spiritual team, my family, as well as finding my tribe.
2017 I am ready for you… You have a clean slate so let’s get to gettin’!
What are you leaving behind as you enter 2017? If you’re not sure, I invite you to take inventory of the key areas of your life with these two questions in mind:
How awesome does this area of my life feel right now on a scale of 1-10? (1 = not so awesome and 10 = totally awesome!)
What’s one thing that’s keeping this area of my life from being as close to a 10 as possible?
With your answer to the second question in hand, make a commitment to take some conscious actions to let go of whatever is blocking the awesome.
And once you begin creating space for some new awesomeness, here’s another question you can use…
What’s one thing I want to add (that’s missing) in order to increase the awesomeness?
My friends, I wish you a Happy 2017! May it be a year that is filled with some awesome new beginnings.
Until next time, I’m sending much love and light to you…
I admit it I’m a personal development junkie. That’s probably why I have about 12 books on the go right now. I’m all about personal growth and supporting others in theirs.
My personal philosophy is simple; if I’m not growing then I’m not really living.
In honor of growth, light bulb moments, and self awareness, I’d like to share some resources that have been helpful in my quest for living.
NOT JUST GOOD READS
These resources aren’t just good reads, they are also thought-provoking and perception game changers.
WARNING: If reading or hearing the F-BOMB curls your toes, then this article is not for you. It’s a 12 minute read and in my very humble opinion worth the time; The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
And while you’re checking out Mark’s article, be sure to check out his self knowledge e-book. There’s some amazing insight in those 20 pages.
We can learn a lot from children. That is what I love about this article, 7 Strategies to Borrow From Your Kids.
There’s so much wisdom that comes from learning from our children and their way of being in the world.
If you’re a lover of all things affirmations, you’re not going to want to miss out on this stellar list; 31 Affirmations That Can Transform Your Life. As a transformation specialist I’m all for the simple tools that can cause impacting transformation.
This resource is one chock-full of wellbeing related tips, articles, and apps . If you’ve not checked out Arianna Huffington’s new site; Thrive Global you’re going to want to. It’s a game changer for folks who are ready to go from surviving to thriving!
For those who love to meditate or are thinking that the New Year would be a great time to start, have a look at Brain Sync. Kelly Howell has created some awesome meditation tracks to help with overcoming limiting beliefs, weight loss, creating abundance, better sleep and so much more.
I’ll be honest, I was never a big Tony Robbins fan and I mean no disrespect to anyone who is. That has all changed and I owe it to his Netflix documentary, “I Am Not Your Guru.” Talk about a mind and game changer!! What an incredible documentary!! I’m truly in awe of the work that Tony is doing in the world. This is a must see!
If you are looking for some really good books to dive into this Holiday Season or as gift ideas, please be sure to check out the Good Reads list. Not to mention the following…
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
Write It Down Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want and Getting It by Henrietta Klauser
The Power of I Am: Two Words That Will Change Your Life Today by Joel Osteen
What are some of your favorite game changing resources? Please share.
Until next time, I wish you all much love and light during this Holiday Season! May it be a happy and healthy one! And may 2017 be the year of greatness and growth for us all!
I will look forward to connecting with you in the New Year!!
I had a mentor once say to me, “People don’t give a sh*t about the letters behind your name. People want to know what fires you have walked through that will help them walk through their own.”
And now that I’m turning 50 in the next few weeks, what she shared makes even more sense. Those fires I’ve experienced are my seasonings.
SPICES OF LIFE
I’ve picked out a few of my favorite seasonings to share and not in any particular order...
You’re never too old to find your passion and purpose. I had this notion in my head that by the time I was 21 I’d have my life planned out and my purpose under way. I carried that notion with me and held it as gospel. Suffice it to say, when I was 21 I didn’t have a clue and my purpose certainly wasn’t unfolding as I’d thought.
It wasn’t until I was 38 that I began to uncover my purpose. And while I know what my purpose is, it’s still unfolding in ways I never imagined.
I’m staying open to the possibilities so that it continues to unfold.
Always trust your instincts/intuitive side no matter what. Over the years my intuitive side has become very important to me. Not just in the work I do, but in navigating my way through life. There have been times when I didn't followed my intuition … I wound up at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and with the wrong people.
No more. There’s not a day that doesn’t go by when I don’t follow my intuitive hits and my gut instincts. Doing so has saved me a lot of headaches and troubles.
If you want to be a priority to someone else, you’ve got to treat yourself as one. This has been a big one for me. My past modus operandi was to be the option and make others the priority.
What I was saying to myself and to others was that I didn’t matter…my feelings and needs did not matter. And they do matter.
I first had to figure out what it meant to be a priority and then I had to act on it. I still have my slip ups, but I’m getting better at making myself a priority. In doing so, I'm much less resentful and I'm not completey reliant on others for meeting my needs. I'm meeting them.
You’re not responsible for another’s well-being. You can contribute to it, but you’re not responsible for it. This was another big one for me. For many reasons I took on the responsibility of making sure that everyone in my world was OK. While I had the best intentions in the world, I created dependence in all my relationships. And in turn, not only did I disempower myself, but I disempowered others. It was never my intention to infer that they couldn’t take care of themselves as well as I could take care of them…but that’s in essence what I was doing.
Co-dependency does not equate to love. Now as a recovering co-dependent I recognize just how liberating it is, (not to mention healthy) to let others be in control of their own well-being while I'm in control of my own.
You are still a good person even if you say “no”. As a matter of fact, I’ve found that saying “no” when I really need/want to is actually the kindest thing I can do for another. In my humble opinion, to say “yes” out of obligation instead of want is really a discount to the other person and the relationship.
There’s no such thing as rejection. Any time something has not worked out, in hindsight, it’s been a blessing. Something better has always come along instead.
Rejection = the Universe’s way of protecting me from something or someone that’s not a good fit so that something or someone who is a good fit has the space to come in.
Speaking of fitting…if you have to change yourself to fit with someone else, there’s a good chance that person isn’t a good fit for you. I’ve tried being someone I wasn’t in order to fit with others and all it did was left me feeling out of integrity.
The relationships that have been worth my time and energy are the ones where I’m free to be me. Without a doubt!
Fear is something to leverage and not something to run from. I heard this not too long ago, “Fear just means forgetting everything’s all right.” Fear is also my way of knowing that what I'm doing is important. (For example, the fear that no one will read this blog.)
SO instead of running from it or pushing it away I use it as my reminder that a) everything is OK and b) what I’m about to do/doing is really important to me.
Feelings don’t go away just because you stuff them. They stay inside and fester. Now instead of stuffing them, l honor them by not ignoring them. I feel them. I write about them and if I can, I talk them out.
You are so much stronger than your thoughts. Even if I don’t always feel stronger, I know that I am. I remind myself that my thoughts come from a 3-pound mass and I’m definitely stronger and bigger than that.
Liking your own company is key to having healthy relationships. I remember a time when I didn’t like my own company. That was also the same time that I engaged in unhealthy relationships. Learning to like my own company helped me to end the loneliness and in turn led to much healthier relationships. No more dependence on others to fill a void or keep me entertained.
Worrying does nothing, but change the color of my hair and make lines in my forehead. It doesn’t change an outcome or stop something from happening. I do that with my actions, not my worry.
So, there you have it, some key seasonings that have made up my last 50 years. I look forward to 50 more years and becoming even more seasoned.
With that said, I’d like to invite you to take stock of your own seasonings.
What have you learned that has helped you become the person you are right now?
What advice would you give someone younger than you?
Until next time, I send much love and light to you…
Welcome to December, my friends! In usual style I have picked some cards and connected to my spiritual team to provide you with intuitive insight for December.
All you have to do is pick a card from the picture right below and then scroll down to find the card you picked for your message. Enjoy!!
P.S... Get A Jump On 2017...
...and find out what it has in store for you!
Be sure to book your 12 month spread reading where you will receive valuable insight for each month of the year to use as guidance... to make decisions and to take action.
There are ONLY 5 telephone and 5 email readings available until December 15th.
Now is NOT the time to make any hasty decisions, Dear One. Be sure to do your due diligence to get all the facts. What may appear to be a sure thing may hold some ulterior motives or hidden details. Don't be afraid to take your time to do some digging... to make sure you are seeing beyond the surface of what's being offered to you. That way you can make sure that you are heading in the direction you intended or getting exactly what you anticipated and nothing less. Because all that glitters is not always gold.
Yes, finally! What you've been waiting to come to fruition is! Dear One, your hard work is about to pay off in a major way. You've overcome some obstacles and hurdles to get here and no one is more deserving of a triumph than you! Keep visualizing that successful outcome and stay the course; stay balanced because triumph is yours for the taking. This card also signifies a move or travel. If you're considering moving house or changing careers, now is the perfect time to put the wheels in motion for a successful transition.
Dear One, it's time to connect with your passion, that "thing" that lights a fire for you, as well as those high energy vibrations and positive thoughts. Your passion plus all that positive energy will support you in manifesting some pretty amazing opportunities going into the new year. Especially when it comes to your work in the world. Be prepared for some really rapid movement... once you have acted on a sign or signal from the Universe things are going to happen rather quickly. It's called kismet and you're ready!
Stagnation be gone! You're moving on and away from what feels stale or out grown. Dear One, you're about to begin a new chapter. Fasten your seat belt because this new beginning is going to catapult you to where you've wanted to go for a very long time. While it may be a tad scary to step into the unknown that this new beginning brings, do not fear...you are supported in more ways than you ever imagined possible. Don't let the fear stop you from seizing this opportunity for a fresh start. It's time.
Dear One, a change of perspective is in the air for you. You're about to gain new insight into your world and the world around you. Questions that have gone unanswered will be answered. Pay close attention to the messages you are receiving, as they will be important to your own forward movement this month and leading into the new year. Now is the time to let go of anything that's no longer working for you or is just taking up space. You've got to have space for the good stuff that wants to come in, including that new perspective. Complacency is so last year..it's time for some renovation and remodeling of those old thought patterns that have clouded your vision.
Until next month, we wish you much love and light!