Mindset Coaching
Changing "Can't" to "Can"
About Pam Aks (Thomas), M.S. PCC, RMT
“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.”
― Albert Einstein
Hi, my name is Pam, and I'm a recovered follow-the-crowd, people-pleasing, peace-keeper. Those were my significant roles, and I played them all very well. They were my safe place to hide, my excuse for not stepping out of my comfort zone, and my rationale for later becoming a helicopter mom of the highest order. Those roles lived in some pretty "wicked" stories, which lead to some powerful internal "NO, you can't."
So, instead of showing up for me and for what I wanted I...
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Acted like someone I wasn't to fit in wherever I could fit.
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Settled in some unhealthy relationships because I didn't feel good enough about myself.
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Believed the inner critic that kept me feeling and playing smaller than small.
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Stayed in jobs that weren't for me because I didn't feel confident enough in my own abilities.
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Allowed others' expectations to dictate my direction and my actions.
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Needed others' approval and cared about what they thought because I didn't trust myself enough.
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Ate and drank my emotions away until I was overweight and on my way to becoming an alcoholic.
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People-pleased at the cost of my own well-being to "feel" loved and accepted.
There's something else you should know…
Since the time I was about 10 years old, I've been on a quest to figure out how to stop all the crappy stories that played on a loop in my head. The stories that ultimately made me feel not good enough.
And the thing is, I didn't have some catastrophic event that turned my life around. I've not led a tragic life filled with one dramatic event after another.
However, I have experienced situations, people, circumstances, words, and actions that helped me craft those pretty "wicked" stories. Stories that had me believing the "You can't, so don't."
But rather than blame anyone or anything, I'd like to take this opportunity to say one thing...
THANK YOU!
Yes, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you to every experience. Thank you to every significant person in my life who unknowingly said something or did something that helped me to craft every single story that I've ever told; the crappy ones and the good ones. If it weren't for each of you, I wouldn't be here as me, doing work that I love and believe in.
But I'd be remiss if I didn't also express a ton of gratitude to my own coach, who helped me to challenge those stories. It was through coaching that...
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I found ways to increase my own awareness, to change my trajectory from settling to doing things and being with people I love.
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I finally fit with me, so I've stopped trying to mold and meld to "click" with others.
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My authentic voice became louder than the negative dialog in my head.
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I realized I was unstoppable when it came to my desire to be a positive contributor.
And as a result, since 2005, I've coached and taught thousands of people, helping them to discover their voices, creating a badass mindset where they not only believe in themselves but in what's possible...becoming unstoppable.
In closing, I want to say this…you, my friend, were meant to not only show up for yourself, but you were meant to show up for things you want. You were meant to be your most authentic, unique self, rewriting those crappy stories and pushing through the "Can't."
So, if you're ready to move past the internal and external "Can't" and have some fun while doing it, be sure to get in touch.
P.S. And if you're looking for more "formal" information (i.e., education, certifications, etc.), click here.
P.P.S. I wish to thank Influence Digest for the honor of being named one of the Top 20 Business Coaches in Phoenix for 2021. It is an amazing honor!!
