ABOUT PAM AKS (THOMAS) M.S, PCC, RMT
Hi, my name is Pam, and I’m a recovering co-dependent, people-pleasing, peace-keeper. Those were my three major roles and I played them all very well. They were my safe place to hide, my excuse for not stepping out of my comfort zone, and my rationale for later becoming a helicopter mom of the highest order. Those roles lived in some pretty “wicked” stories which lead to some strong internal “NO, you can't”.
So, instead of showing up for me and for what I wanted I...
Acted like someone I wasn't to fit in wherever I could fit.
Settled in some unhealthy relationships because I didn't feel good enough about me.
Believed the internal dialog that kept me feeling and playing smaller than small.
Stayed in jobs that weren't for me, because I didn't feel confident enough in my own abilities.
Allowed others’ expectations dictate my direction and my actions.
Needed others' approval and cared about what they thought because I didn't trust myself enough.
Ate and drank my emotions away until I was overweight and on my way to becoming an alcoholic.
People-pleased at the cost of my own well-being to "feel" loved and accepted.
There’s something else you should know…
I’ve been on a quest since the time I was about eight years old when I read my first self-help book, “TA for Tots”. A quest to figure out how to stop all the crappy stories that played on a loop in my head. The stories that ultimately kept me (as an adult) a co-dependent, people-pleasing, peace-keeper, and someone I ultimately wasn’t.
And the thing is, I didn’t have some catastrophic event that turned my life around. I’ve not led a tragic life filled with one dramatic event after another.
I have, however, experienced situations, people, circumstances, words, and actions that helped me to craft those pretty “wicked” stories that kept me feeling less than and settling. Stories that had me believing the "You can't, so don't." But rather than blame anyone or anything, I’d like to take this opportunity to say one thing...
Yes, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you to every experience. Thank you to every significant person in my life who unknowingly said something or did something that helped me to craft every single story that I’ve ever told; the crappy ones, and the good ones. If it weren’t for each of you I wouldn’t be here doing work that I love and believe in.
But I'd be remiss if I didn't also express a ton of gratitude to my own coach who helped me to challenge those stories and take from them the good. It was by being coached that my "can'ts" were challenged and where I was supported, empowered, inspired, and encouraged to be me and to trust in my own abilities.
And as a result, since 2005 I’ve coached and taught thousands of people, helping them to create a badass mindset where they not only believe in themselves but in what's possible. Because what we believe makes a HUGE difference in how we feel about ourselves, what we do and how we do it.
In closing, I want to say this…you, my friend, were meant to not only show up for yourself but you were meant to show up for things you want. You were meant to be your most authentic, amazing self, rewriting those crappy stories and pushing through the “Can't”. It's from that place of empowerment that together we’ll continue to change the world and pave the way for others.
So, if you're ready to move past the internal and external "Can't" and have some fun while doing it...
P.S. And if you're looking for more "formal" information (i.e. education, certifications, etc.), click here.