Has Anyone Seen My Long Fuse?

I've always been someone with a pretty long fuse. It takes a lot to really get under my skin or make me feel edgy and reactive. I'm usually a person who stays calm when things get chaotic, who can roll with unexpected changes without getting all wound up about it.

Except lately, that hasn't been me at all. Over the past month or so, I've noticed my fuse getting shorter.

Not that I'm raging or lashing out at people or making rash decisions I'll regret later. It's more subtle than that. I've been feeling annoyed by things that don't normally annoy me, jumping to conclusions faster, and having this underlying sense of edginess that just doesn't feel like my normal baseline.

At first, I brushed it off. We all have rough patches, right? But then I started paying attention to what was happening, and I realized I'd become emotionally and mentally saturated. Which now makes total sense...there have been a lot of things  “swirling around” in my orbit.

Moving to a new house, the news despite trying to avoid it, other people's stress and dysregulation that I clearly hadn't done a good job of protecting myself from. And that's just the short list. So, yep…I’ve absorbed all of it like a sponge and became emotionally dysregulated myself. Hello, short fuse!

Here's what the science tells us about emotional regulation: our ability to manage our emotional responses isn't fixed. It can shift based on our stress levels, how much sleep we're getting, major life changes, and yes, how much emotional input we're taking in from our environment.

When we're dealing with multiple stressors or absorbing a lot of emotional information, our prefrontal cortex (the part of our brain responsible for emotional regulation) can become overwhelmed.

When that happens, our amygdala (the brain's alarm system) becomes more reactive. Things that normally wouldn't bother us suddenly feel more intense. Our emotional thermostat gets recalibrated without us even realizing it.

And what I’ve come to learn, the first step to getting back to a normal emotional range is simply noticing that you've shifted. That awareness alone can be incredibly helpful because it reminds you that this reactive state isn't your permanent new normal.

So, because I know that being a short fused person isn’t me, I have amped up my mental self-care. (If anything I’m about to offer resonates with you, feel free to experiment with it and see what works best for you.)

Here’s what I’ve been doing in addition to my daily 4am grounding routine of journaling, meditating, and exercising.

I'm using what I call a "Sh*t Journal." It's where I literally dump all my short-fused related thoughts that I make a point to never re-read. Getting my “sh*t” out on paper helps me create some insight and some calm in my nervous system.

Here’s the thing I have also learned, which is kind of cool… labeling emotions (like in journaling) activates your prefrontal cortex and can reduce the intensity of the emotional response. It's like turning down the volume on your amygdala.

I'm using my favorite breathing app (Breathwrk) more consistently and often, and I found a 30-day challenge on Insight Timer for resetting my nervous system.

But the most important thing I'm doing is not swinging the metaphoric 2x4 at my head for feeling the way I do right now. Because for me, doing so is just fodder for my Itty Bitty Sh*tty Committee, and I don't need that critical mental garbage adding to the dysregulation.

I recognize that my short-fused reactions are just my body's way of saying, "Hold up, Pam... your sponge is full! Time to squeeze it out!"

For me, recognizing that I'd been operating like a dysregulated emotional sponge was the wake-up call I needed. Now I'm being more intentional about what I expose myself to and remembering that I can care deeply without absorbing everything around me.

What about you? What do you do when you find yourself in a place of short-fusedness? I'd love to hear what works for you.