Embracing My Body: A Journey of Self-Discovery

It’s interesting. Even though I’ve learned a lot about how my brain works, I still get tripped up by the stories it tells.

I do.

And my latest trip-up? The way I’ve been viewing my body.

The Shift in My Routine

Since moving back to Kansas City, I've indulged— and I don’t just mean in the local BBQ scene. The foodie culture here is vibrant. I've been enjoying the tastes of home more than hitting the gym.

As a result, my routine changed, and so did the way I talked to myself when I looked in the mirror.

That just wasn't cool with me.

So, I did what I always do when something bugs me. I grabbed my journal and wrote a question at the top of the page:

What if my body wasn’t a problem to fix, but a sacred place to listen to, explore, and celebrate?

That question hit me right in the heart.

Exploring New Perspectives

I continued writing.

How would I treat her (my body) if that were true? What might I see that I don’t see when I’m constantly looking for flaws or things to change? What impact could that shift have?

Here’s what I discovered:

I’d enjoy her more.

I’d see her as the miracle she is.

I’d feel grateful more often for how she supports and carries me through the world.

I’d certainly be kinder to her.

The truth is, my view of my body today is not how I want to see her. I realized that my perspective has been shaped by old stories I picked up long ago. These stories came from well-meaning but critical family members and relentless advertising. They tied my worth to my waistline.

The Weight of Old Stories

I've allowed what I heard from that critical family member—all those years ago—to color my view.

“You could stand to lose five pounds.”

“You’re a pretty girl, but you’re not the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Or the kicker: “Thin people are happier and more successful.”

Looking back at those yearbook photos, I think, Wow. I was fit. Strong. Beautiful. But back then? I didn’t see it. I only saw the stories I bought into: a girl who could stand to lose five pounds and who wasn’t beautiful at all.

Understanding the Impact of Advertising

Let's not forget the relentless ads that tell us sagging skin and fine lines are a one-way ticket to Social Siberia. These ads make it clear that women like me (today) don’t get the sports car or the passionate love story. Instead, we get the cholesterol meds and weight loss drugs.

Those messages sink in deeply—not just emotionally, but neurologically.

It all makes sense why my view of myself has become contorted lately. When exposed to repeated messages, especially emotionally loaded ones, our brains wire them in like familiar truths. This phenomenon is known as neuroplasticity. It’s the brain’s ability to change and adapt, regardless of whether what we learn is helpful or harmful.

So, the more I focused on what needed fixing, the more my brain believed that something was broken.

A New Way to See Myself

What if I stopped feeding my brain those stories? What if I rewired my perceptions by practicing a new way of seeing myself?

I’d see me, the 58-year-young version.

I’d see strong legs. Sure, they may not press 350 pounds like they used to, but they powerfully carry me through life. They support me as I dance at concerts and stroll through art museums.

I’d see a stomach that grew and birthed the most amazing human I know—my son—more than 30 years ago. That alone makes this body sacred.

I’d see twinkling eyes that are fortunate to witness beauty daily. Those eyes have experienced heartbreak and healing. They still light up when I laugh.

I’d see a face that has aged, yes, but one that has kissed, smiled, encouraged, comforted, and loved deeply. A face that has lived and continues to thrive.

A Shift in Perspective

To the advertisers of the world? Sorry to disappoint, but this full-figured, aging, radiant woman is not waiting for permission to enjoy her life. I’m doing it—fully, joyfully, boldly.

And to that family member? I know your comments back then weren’t meant to harm. They came from your own pain and fear. Here’s what I’ve come to realize:

Worth doesn't come from a smaller waistline or a tighter jawline. It emerges from a heart that listens, sees, and loves; one that shows up—even when it’s been hurt. It’s a heart that knows better now and chooses better, too.

When I look in the mirror now, I remind myself:

I’m not something that needs to be fixed. I’m someone who is deeply blessed.

Embracing Self-Love

The beautiful twist? Looking at those extra pounds through a kinder lens hasn’t made me complacent. Instead, it inspires me to get back on my movement wagon and take even better care of this body that has always taken care of me.

So, if you've ever felt ashamed of how you look, it’s time to stop believing those old stories, no matter where they originated.

It’s time to look deeper.

To honor the miracle that is your body and you.

To feed your brain the truth, not the lies.

To speak to yourself with kindness, respect, and love.

And to remember that you are the most beautiful person in the world.

Because we all are.

No caveats. No conditions.

Period.

End of story.