• Pam

Think You're Average? How To Stop Telling Yourself That Awful Lie

Updated: Dec 2, 2021

A woman making a stop gesture with her hand

“You didn’t wake up today to be average!” - Alek Toussaint, instructor @onepeloton

How often have you gotten out of bed and said to yourself, “Today, I think I prefer to be average.”?

While you may have never said those words exactly, I’m going to challenge you a little.

I’d be willing to bet you’ve said some less than kind things to yourself. I’d also be willing to bet your inner bully has whispered negative nothings in your ear that have made you feel crappy.

I know, it sounds pretty presumptuous of me to bet those things. And I don’t say them out of presumption. I say them because you and I probably have some things in common, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here reading this post.


Whenever I’d ruminate over someone’s critical comment, stifled my feelings, shut down my voice, settled for less, or believed the bullshit stories my inner bully told, I'd allow average to creep in. And not only did I allow it to creep in, but I'd invite it to make itself comfy and stay for a while.

And guess what happened as a result?

The more average I felt, the more I saw myself as average and the more decisions I made to support the average. It became a vicious cycle of rinse and repeat.


As Dr. Rick Hanson explains in his many articles and books, our brains are wired to experience negative thoughts (like the thoughts of being average). It’s a form of protection called “negative bias”.

Regardless of the negative bias, none of us were born to be average. We just choose to believe the lie that we are.

And it's the belief that keeps us in “the safe zone". Where we believe that we're avoiding rejection and failure, ensuring that we're not making a fool of ourselves, or coming across as too bold or “big for our britches.”

HOWEVER...What we're really doing is missing out on cool opportunities. We're missing out on the positive possibilities, and we're preventing ourselves from becoming #unstoppable.


So, if you’re ready to stop telling yourself the lie that you're average, I invite you to experiment with the following two things.

Intentionally tuning in to what you’re saying. Our minds don’t know fact from fiction. Our minds believe what we tell them. So, if you find that you’re saying some pretty crappy things to yourself, just stop and change your focus. That’s it. You don’t even have to change the dialog to something more positive. The important thing is stopping the negative commentary and switching your focus to something else that makes you feel better. For example, I love to switch my focus to my puppies. It’s hard not to feel good when I’m going in for some puppy cuddles.

Intentionally ask, “How do I want to show up today?” Before you get out of bed ask yourself this question. Then think of one thing you’re committed to doing that will help you to show up that way. For example, if I’m wanting to show up full of positive energy, I’ll commit to any of the following...

- steering clear of negative conversations

- staying away from the news for the day

- staying off of Facebook

- getting outside

- eating well


Grab a piece of paper, your journal, or use the comment section below, and answer the following questions.

Intention Setting Questions:

How do you want to show up today?

How do you want to feel?

Intention Supporting Questions:

What’s one thing you’ll do to support how you want to show up?

What helps you to feel that feeling you’ve identified?

My friend, average is best used for describing height but not for describing you!

Let me know your thoughts below. And as always, until next time I’m sending you lots of love!

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