Last week, I shared a personal story about a challenging time that felt like an extended “dark night of the soul.” It wasn’t easy, but it taught me an invaluable lesson: sitting with discomfort doesn’t break you. In fact, it opens the door to clarity and growth.
When I stopped avoiding the discomfort, I began to notice small but powerful insights; stars in the darkness that had been there all along, waiting for me to see them.
As I reflected on what I wrote, it brought me to this time of the year when many of us are choosing words or resolutions to guide us through 2025. Normally, I’d be doing the same.
But not this year.
This year, I’m choosing a theme inspired by a quote that’s been my mantra, “Be a voice. Not an echo.” – Einstein
For me, this quote is a reminder that showing up as my authentic self, not what others expect, is where my confidence lives. And while I briefly lost sight of that (during my “dark night,” ) those wise words helped me reconnect with what matters most: being a voice in everything I do.
What Does It Actually Mean to Be a Voice?
For me, being a voice is more of a feeling. It’s when I feel solid in who I am. When things feel right whether that’s the direction I’m headed in or what I’m doing.
Essentially, being a voice means showing up as you. The real you. Not the polished version you think others want to see, but the one with all your quirks, brilliance, and messy edges. The you that attracts your people; the ones you belong with because they see you, get you, and value you for exactly who you are.
I think Brené Brown describes it best:
“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness.”
(Yes, I know that standing alone sounds scary - but when we're being ourselves, we can become comfortable with our own company. Which means we're never truly alone.)
And What About Being an Echo?
I think being an echo is more about following the crowd. Trying to fit in with people who aren’t necessarily a good fit to avoid being alone or being rejected. Being an echo is draining and slowly pulls you further from who you really are.
Again, Brené Brown explains it brilliantly…
“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted.”
From my own experience, trying to fit in wasn’t just exhausting, it was soul-crushing, and my confidence took a massive hit. It was tantamount to saying that who I am isn’t enough. And once that message was planted, my brain jumped into overdrive, feeding me stories and doubts to back it up.
Why Authenticity is Good Brain Food
And speaking of the brain, I’d be remiss if I didn’t throw a little neuroscience into the mix. Living authentically isn’t just good for your soul; it’s good for your brain, too.
When you show up as your true self, you lower anxiety and depression levels while increasing happiness. And when you’re happier, your brain releases feel-good chemicals that boost your mood, energy, and confidence.
On the flip side, trying to be someone you’re not, triggers stress responses in your brain. Over time, that stress can take a serious toll on your mental and physical well
-being.
Authenticity isn’t just about self-expression; it’s about your well-being and alignment.
Because…
When you show up as yourself, every decision, every connection, and every action you take matches with you. It’s about choosing to bring you to the table; your values, your quirks, your whole self. And when you do, you create a life that reflects who you truly are, not who you think you’re supposed to be.
Now It’s Your Turn
As we close out 2024, I’d love to invite you to take a little inventory by answering the following questions:
Where in your life are you being an echo?
What would it look like to turn up the volume on your voice in 2025?
Because the world doesn’t need another echo. It needs your voice; loud, proud, and undeniably you.
And, if you’re thinking to yourself, “Pam, that’s nice and all, but how and where do I start?”
Not to worry; I’ve got you. Here are some tips to help you make 2025 the year you show up as you, creating that #unstoppable confidence.
Identify Your Core Values
Reflect on what truly matters to you. What are the values that light you up? Write down your top three and ask yourself: Am I making decisions that align with these? If not, what small shifts can I make to course-correct?
Start Small
You don’t have to make sweeping changes to turn up your voice. Start with one small action; maybe it’s sharing your opinion in a meeting or saying “no” to something that doesn’t sit right with you. Small steps add up to big shifts.
Practice Self-Compassion
Embracing your authentic self means being kind to yourself, even when things feel messy. When self-doubt creeps in, remind yourself: It’s about progress, not perfection.
Find Your People
Surround yourself with those who see and celebrate the real you. When you’re around people who “get you,” it feels safe and easier to show up as yourself.
Journal Your Truth
Journaling is a powerful way to explore your voice. Write about what makes you unique, what you believe in, and how you want to show up in the world. Journaling is a great tool for clarity that can help you uncover where you’ve been an echo and where you can step into your voice.
Set Boundaries
Being a voice means protecting your time, energy, and values. Practice saying “no” to what doesn’t align with who you are and “yes” to the things that do. Boundaries are a form of self-respect and a way to honor your authentic self.
Experiment with Authenticity
Dip your toes into authenticity by starting in low-stakes situations. Try sharing an unfiltered thought with a trusted friend or choosing an outfit that feels more like “you” than what’s expected. Each small experiment builds confidence.
Celebrate Your Wins
Every time you choose to be a voice, whether by speaking your truth, making a tough decision, or setting a boundary…celebrate it. Acknowledge those moments as steps toward becoming more aligned with who you truly are.
(Neuroscience geeky side note: when you celebrate your wins your brain is releasing feel-good chemicals into your bloodstream. Not to mention, your brain catalogs the steps you took that were successful so you can recall and use them again.)
What do you say? Let’s make 2025 the year we stop being echoes and start being voices; the world needs us to do just that. Are you in?
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