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It feels like forever since I have written a blog post. In total transparency, it has been a few months since I have done any creative writing of any kind.
And it's not because I don't like to write, I do. I love to write. It's just every time I have tried to come up with something to share with all of you, a feeling of resistance washes over me.
It starts in my belly and then rises up in my throat, where it stops. Cutting off my words, drowning out my thoughts with its ever so slight choke-hold. (I know that sounds so dramatic.)
So, rather than fight the resistance, I don't write. Instead, I walk away and say to myself, "Maybe next week." Then next week comes and I'm still not writing. So, I let the resistance win.
WHAT'S THIS REALLY ABOUT???
This blog post isn't really about not writing blog posts or working on a book that has been in the works for what seems like forever. This post is about resistance. Yep, the resistance I have ignored and left to its own devices.
And as I sit here writing this blog post, I'm reminded of something Marie Forleo once wrote, “If you don’t share your true voice with the world, you’re stealing. Because there’s someone out there RIGHT NOW who needs what you have to offer! Someone who needs to hear it from you (and only you!)...And if you don’t express it, you won’t make the difference you were born to make.”
To stop allowing resistance to steal and stifle, I think it's time to be honest with myself and with all of you. Here's the truth; resistance (to me) is just fear putting on a disguise to trick me into not doing something.
I know this, so what am I so afraid of? Afraid enough to keep me from sharing?
Something that I thought I had handled and resolved; I'm afraid to put myself out there in vulnerable ways. Sharing the "messy" in a space where once it's out there, it can't be taken back. Sure, it can be deleted, but once it's seen by even one person it can't be taken back.
That begs the next question; what is it about putting myself out there that's so scary?
Judgment. Scrutiny. More judgment.
Hmmm, that's really interesting. Consciously I know that I can't control what others think. It's logical but regardless of how logical, it's still a valid fear. One that I have to deal with until I've mastered it or it will keep showing up.
This is one lesson I want to master so that it never stands between me, putting myself out there, and sharing with you or anyone else.
TURNING RESISTANCE INTO A FRIEND INSTEAD OF A FOE
To master it, I'm making the resistance to putting myself out there a friend by...
Using it as a) an indicator that what I want to do (in putting myself out there) is important, b) figure out what I'm afraid of, and c) I'm going to do one thing, even if it's a small thing, to push through the resistance/fear so I take my power back from it. Just like I did here in writing this post. ;)
You can hold me to this...no matter how "messy" my truth is I'm going to share it rather than allow resistance to shut me up. Stay tuned right here.
So, now I turn it over to you...
How will you handle your own resistance when it shows up?