How I Learned to Take My Power Back from the Inner Critics in My Head

Most people have an inner critic. I somehow ended up with an entire miniature boardroom filled with them.

At the head of the boardroom table is Bitty Bitch. She’s only a couple of inches tall, but she carries herself like she’s running a global empire. Picture a power suit with shoulder pads reminiscent of the 80s, super large and in charge. And her heels? Sharp and pointy, just like her personality.

Her specialty is locating my dreams and aspirations, marching right up to them, and digging those pointy heels into the middle until she’s deflated not just the dream, but me for daring to have it.

And of course, she doesn’t work alone. She chairs the Itty-Bitty Shitty Committee, a whole cluster of pint-sized critics who seem to have endless opinions about everything I do, say, think, create, and dream up. They always seem to know exactly which insecurities to poke to make their commentary feel convincing.

For a long time, I didn’t question them.

Their voices felt familiar and strangely compelling, which made the stories they told feel real. If they said I wasn’t ready, I assumed they were being responsible. If they said I wasn’t enough, I figured they were just being honest. If they said my ideas were ridiculous, I quietly believed them.

It took me some time to realize something important: just because a thought feels real doesn’t mean it deserves authority.

When the Inner Critics Get Loud

Once I started paying closer attention to the patterns that brought out my Itty-Bitty Shitty Committee, I noticed something interesting. My inner critics weren’t loud all the time.

They didn’t bother me when I was doing something familiar or routine. For example, if I was washing dishes or doing something that I could do in my sleep, they sat quietly in the corner, crocheting a toilet paper roll cover.

But the moment I stepped toward something that mattered to me, something different and big, they snapped to attention. Suddenly Bitty Bitch was clicking across the boardroom with her heels, and the whole committee was chiming in with opinions, warnings, and dramatic predictions.

And that’s when it finally clicked: their commentary was just data. Data that I could choose what to do with. Once I saw it that way, everything began to shift.

What Your Brain Is Actually Doing When It’s Creating Noise

OK, I’d be remiss if I didn’t geek out a little around the neuroscience of the inner critic. So, please feel free to bypass this part if you’re not into brain geeky stuff.

You see, our brains are all built with a mission in mind. The mission is to protect us and keep us safe. To essentially keep us alive. When we’re about to do something different, something outside the status quo our brains kick into warning mode.

Thousands of years ago, unfamiliar and different meant danger. Today, unfamiliar often means opportunity, but the brain reacts the same way. It sends up alerts. It tightens the body. It floods us with stories about why we should stay exactly where we are.

And because the brain doesn’t distinguish between physical danger and emotional vulnerability, the stories can feel urgent and convincing even when nothing is wrong.

A Shift of All Shifts

When I finally understood what my brain was doing, I began to see my committee as allies, not enemies to stifle.

Their stories weren’t doomsday predictions. They were signals that I was stepping into something meaningful, stretching into new territory, or growing in a way that mattered to me.

When I started looking at their commentary through that lens, everything softened. Instead of assuming Bitty Bitch was right, I began assuming I was onto something worth pursuing. This shift did two things: it validated that I was on the right path, and it kept me from pouring time and energy into projects that didn’t fit me.

That shift also changed how I listened to my body. The flutter in my stomach, the tightness in my chest, the quickening of my breath all began to feel less like warnings and more like indicators that I cared about what I was doing.

Those sensations weren’t telling me to stop. They were telling me that something significant was happening. So, instead of asking myself what was wrong with me, I started asking questions to understand the importance.

That simple reframing created space for clarity, for alignment, and for a version of myself that wasn’t ruled by fear but guided by passion and purpose.

A Simple Power Retrieval Check-In

When the committee starts up, I pause and ask myself three questions.

What is this story trying to tell me?

What matters here?

Does this align with who I am and what I want to create?

These questions help me separate fear from truth, noise from meaning, and habit from intention.

They ground me and calm my nervous system so I can start creating and innovating. They also remind me that I always have a choice in how I respond to the stories my mind generates.

Choice = Power.

Three Experiments to Try

Please know that what I’m about to offer isn’t a set of rules. They’re experiments that are meant to be played with, explored, and adapted to whatever feels right for you.

Soft Label. Labeling a thought or emotion helps shift activity from the fear center of the brain to the reasoning center. This creates space between you and your thoughts or emotions. Which doesn’t just turn down the temperature, it helps you to respond rather than react.  For example, instead of focusing on the story of not good enough, I’ll label that "negative thought."

Turn Down the Volume Dial. When the critics get loud, try imaging yourself turning the volume down. The brain responds strongly to imagery, so even a simple mental picture can interrupt an old pattern and give you a moment of choice. This little experiment has helped me remember that I don’t have to eliminate the critics to move forward. I just have to lower their influence enough to hear my own voice again.

And the last experiment to try…

Using Curiosity. This experiment comes from Eckhart Tolle's meditation trick. I've found it works really well when a negative thought appears. Simply ask this question…

“Hmmm, I wonder what my next thought will be?”

This is one of my favorite tools to use. Not only does it make me laugh, which lightens my energy and calms my nervous system, but it causes my brain to do a scan. A scan for my next thought…and that thought is usually a blank one.

Give these experiments a try and see what happens to your inner critic(s).

A Final Thought for Anyone Standing at the Edge of Something Important

If your inner critics are loud, it doesn’t mean you’re incapable, unprepared, or that you should stop moving forward with your goals and important ideas.

It means you’re standing at the edge of something meaningful. Your inner critic is not a stop sign. It’s a spark. A signal. A piece of data, that in its own funny way is saying, “You’re growing so, keep going.”

And if you feel inspired to share, I’d love to hear about your own Bitty Bitch, your committee, or the stories that show up when you step toward something important. Your voice might be the exact data someone else needs today.