How to find it and own it
"When I lose 20 pounds I'll be happier."
"When I make six figures I’ll have made it."
"When I can buy my dream car and my dream house then I'll know I'm a success."
I grew up with messages like these.
As a kid and a teenager self-worth in my world equated to keeping up with the Joneses. It was about the external things. Which meant that the more you had the better you were as a person.
While I don’t think those were the messages the adults in my world intended to give, that is what they modeled. And since it was all I knew, I chased the external. I chased it down like a lion chases its prey.
No matter how much I “caught” I never felt it was enough. The bottom line, chasing the external cost me a lot (i.e. my identity, my energy, my heart) and got me no closer to feeling worthy and good about me.
And then the penny FINALLY dropped…
You can't put a price tag on self-worth. It’s not something you chase. And it's certainly not something you can buy off the Internet or in a swanky store. It has nothing to do with what you own, how you look, how much money you make, or your job title.
Self-worth is and has always been an inside job.
HOW TO OWN IT
Owning our own self-worth is a process. It’s one that takes time, awareness, effort, and a willingness to want to own it. With that said, I’d like to offer the following things that have helped me to own mine, but with a caveat.
These are things that I’ve used; they aren’t the only ways that work and just because they’ve worked for me that doesn’t mean that they have to work for you. I offer them to you to take, to tweak, or to discard if they don’t seem like a fit.
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.” ― C. JoyBell C.
I wanted to feel more confident, comfortable in my own skin, happy. That lead to wanting to know what made me tick, what made me, me at my core. From there my definition was born.
My self-worth = being a person of compassion, integrity, warmth, acceptance, high intuition, and creativity.
(SIDE NOTE: If the above doesn’t work for you, try answering this question… “What qualities do you want to be remembered for?”)
SELF-WORTH IS PRICELESS
Sometimes I still find myself feeling a little “less than” when someone has something or does something that I’d like to have or do. After all, old habits die hard. But then I remember one thing… my self-worth has nothing to do with the external stuff and everything to do with who I am on the inside.
At the end of the day, what’s on the inside has always been priceless.
In closing, I share this wish with you...
May you know and always own your priceless self-worth. Knowing that who you are on the inside has always been and will always be more than enough!
Sending you much love and light until next time…