Pam Thomas loves encouraging others to bring their own flavor to the recipes called Life and Business. She has over a decade of experience in helping others stand up and out in positive ways personally and professionally.
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Ways to speak up for what matters
I think it’s true what they say about getting older; the less shit you give about what comes out of your mouth. Don’t get me wrong… it’s not that I’ve stopped caring and it’s not that I’ve started saying offensive, hurtful things.
I haven’t turned into some madwoman with verbal diarrhea. I’ve just become more vocal when it comes to things that matter, for example, my own feelings and thoughts.
I’ve become more of an advocate for me. Halle-frickin-lujah!!!
Trust me when I tell you, it’s about time!
It’s been tiring. Not to mention, it gets heavy carrying around years and years of pent up feelings. What’s worse, it sucks to be a hypocrite by helping others to find their own voices when I haven’t really been using mine.
The simple truth is…
I was afraid I’d rock a boat, piss someone off, lose a friend, etc. by speaking up for myself. But by not speaking up what I’ve really been doing is hurting myself and treating myself as a proverbial doormat. So uncool!
“When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.” ― Laurie Halse Anderson
DESERVING TO BE HEARD
Here’s the thing, the more I speak up for myself the more liberated I feel. And here’s some more good news…the earth doesn’t stop rotating on its axis. Of course there’ve been times when others haven’t liked what I had to say, but that eventually passed. The bottomline; I've not lost anyone important to me because I spoke up.
My voice is important (as is yours!) and if I don’t use it I’m not only doing myself a disservice, but I’m doing others one too. People aren’t mind readers.
So here’s what I’ve been doing to go from voiceless to vocal…
Picking my hills carefully. There are just some hills that aren’t worth expending energy on. To make sure I’m expending energy on the right hill I ask myself, “Will telling it like it is help or change things?” If the answer is “no”, I redirect my energy and attention elsewhere.
Speaking my truth from my heart. My heart is an amazing guide and teacher. I’ve never regretted anything I’ve said that has come from my heart.
I’m responsible for the delivery, not the receiving. The only thing I’ve got control over is how I deliver my message. I don’t have control over how someone receives it. To the last point, if I’m coming from my heart (a good place) that's the best I can ever do.
Remembering to pause. There are times when I need to take a breath before responding. As a matter of fact, I wished I had remembered that the other day when my buttons got pushed. While my message was spot on, my delivery sucked. Had I paused, I know I would have delivered my message in a much calmer way.
It’s a process, but I’m committed to it and most importantly, I’m committed to hearing me so that others will too.
My friends, what do you do that gets you heard? I’d love to hear from you.
Until next time, sending you much love and light...