Many years ago a colleague of mine and I were discussing narcissism when she shared "If you're not adoring them you're boring them". While the phrase may seem a little flippant and crass, it wasn't meant to be. She shared it at a time when I needed to add a little levity to my own dealings with the narcissists that were running rampant in my personal life.
If you're not familiar with or have never experienced a narcissist, they're not bad people, let me make that very clear. They can be rather endearing, but they can also require a lot of energy. And here's why…
A narcissist is frequently absorbed with themselves to the detriment of their relationships.
When in conversation the narcissist has a tendency to turn the conversation back onto themselves. It's often done unintentionally, but nonetheless, as the person on the receiving end it can be considered a discount and rather frustrating.
One-upmanship is a common occurrence.
It's also not uncommon for the narcissist to be consumed with outward appearances; deeply concerned with what others think of their outward appearance and their accomplishments.
Lastly, a person who is narcissistic has a continual need for validation and even adoration from those around them, hence my colleague's phrase.
Similar to several years ago, narcissistic people are again running rampant in my personal life. While I don't completely understand the Universe's reasoning for placing so many around me right now, I'm confident that there's something more I'm meant to learn (in addition to what I've already learned).
To remember that beneath the "it's all about me" probably lies some deep insecurity. When I do remember that, compassion rides shotgun as opposed to frustration, and that helps to take the edge off.
Not to react in the moment. Reacting only fuels the narcissistic tendencies. It doesn't help the narcissist to see it from my perspective. Instead it just creates a defensive atmosphere which doesn't serve anyone.
That sometimes I just need to end the conversation, particularly if I feel myself getting prickly.
Not to expect that they will take an active interest in what I have to share so that when they do it will be a nice surprise. I love nice surprises.
So I'm off to do some more reflecting and learning, but I would love to hear from all of you. If you've experienced or are currently experiencing people with narcissistic tendencies what’s helped you navigate those relationships? I look forward to learning from you!
Until next time, I'm sending you lots of love and light…
About this blog
This blog is all about walking the walk, and not just talking my talk. This is the place where I share my personal journey, insights, ideas, and a-ha moments...all things mindset related.
It is my wish that what you find on these pages supports you on your own journey of mindset shifting...so you proudly share your epic-ness with the world. Because what we believe makes a huge difference to who we are and what we do.
To check out some of the other articles and posts I've written, click here.