The other day I was revisiting some old posts on Pinterest when I came across one from four years ago. I loved the image, but wasn’t thrilled with what I posted below the image.
There was something about the comment that just didn’t sit well with me.
Yes, I have shown the naysayers they’re wrong, especially the internal naysayers. Every time I push through my own fear, I show them they’re wrong.
That wasn’t the part that didn’t sit well with me.
It was the “AWESOME” part. I didn’t really feel so awesome about myself at the time of that post.
I was going through some major shit and instead of being honest I was wearing my social mask, the one that projected the allusion of “everything's just great!”. The one that didn’t let others see my vulnerable side out of fear, the fear that people wouldn’t want to work with me or be with me.
Being something other than myself has NEVER elicited feelings of awesomeness!
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve come a long way since that post four years ago and I’d like a do over. I’d like to answer that question again.
What would the child I once was think of me now? What would she say to me?
If she were sitting in front of me this is what I’d imagine she’d say…
Pam, you’ve worked really hard to get where you are. I’m proud of you even though sometimes I think you work too hard and forget that you’re supposed to have fun, and not take yourself so seriously. But you already know that.
You have, despite some old stories that weren’t even yours, found ways to deal with fear, overcome the messages of not good enough, removed some toxic people from your life, and started taking responsibility for your well-being, not everyone else's. I’m glad, even though you used to get really scared that you'd be alone, or worse, go unloved.
But you’ve made sure that you’re always OK. No matter what.
You’ve proven to yourself that you are worthy of being loved. That you don’t have to be perfect or make sure everything is OK for everyone else in order to be loved. It takes courage to be who you authentically are in and amongst the messages to "fit in". By being you, you’ve attracted some really cool people into your world, people that love you unconditionally. Not to mention some awesome opportunities!
I know there are days when you talk and play smaller then you should, but here’s the thing… I have faith that you’ll figure out how to consistently be the powerful woman that I see you as. If you don’t believe me, remind yourself of the work you have done to this point. OK?
Just do me a favor, don’t EVER give up on what you do, and most importantly, don’t give up on you!
Yep, that is what she would say! And I gotta say, I really like do-overs.
And now I turn to you, my friends and ask, “what would the child you once were think about the adult you have become?” Please share.
Until next time, I wish you much love and light…